Gossip can work as a glue – and there is a more tactful way of communicating. Be less hard on yourself and learn to make ‘I statements’
The question I can’t seem to stop gossiping and complaining about the people around me. This primarily happens at work and I am not the only person who does it; it is a toxic environment where bitching is the norm, so it is hard to resist. Every day I give myself a little talk about how I am not going to say a bad word about someone and every day I get sucked into gossip or end up saying something mean. It is the trait I deplore the most in myself and I am starting to believe that deep down I am a horrible person who doesn’t deserve any friends. I used to pride myself on my ability to be honest, opinionated and outspoken, but the balance has tipped into bitterness, whining and impulsive gossiping. The worst part is, when I bitch about someone, I deep down don’t feel negatively about them and am baffled as to why I say such horrible things.
I have worked hard on myself in the last few years (becoming sober, going to therapy) and I am ashamed that I have not evolved into a better person. I don’t want to be small-minded by getting a thrill out of bringing others down. I really respect and admire people who are more positive, open minded and can control their thoughts and emotions around others – how do I become that person and say goodbye once and for all to this poisonous part of myself?
