This man has told you how low to set your expectations, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, so try to extinguish your crush

Due to a combination of shyness, insecurity and finding intimacy painful, I am far less experienced when it comes to relationships than my age (early 30s) would suggest. I have only had one serious, long-term relationship. A few months after it ended, I started a casual relationship with one of my housemates. I knew from the start that this was a bad idea, but I was (still am) very attracted to him.

It has felt like a “real” relationship at times, however, he can also be very immature. After being “casual” but seeing nobody but me for almost a year, he has recently had an encounter that left me feeling rejected, jealous and hurt, especially since I could hear everything. I made my feelings clear and he was very apologetic.

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