A quintet of likable lads jostle for the affections of singleton Tara in the second series of the highly entertaining dating show that calls forth your inner judge. Resistance is futile

Five Guys a Week is back for a second series. For those of you who have not had the pleasure, the show follows a different woman every week as she bangs a quintet of eligible bachelors to find out which is the best at giving her a prolonged and inventive seeing to. No, not really – that’s just what the title wants you to think, you see!

Instead, what happens is that a lady (usually in her early to mid-30s, though occasionally vague memories of its public service remit will cross Channel 4’s mind and they’ll lob in someone who remembers decimalisation or the first Becky in Roseanne) looking for a long-term relationship invites five potential suitors into her home for a week. Every evening, she disinvites one of them for reasons ranging from the spurious to the entirely fair. Such are the vicissitudes of life and the human heart. Last season’s highlights included project coordinator Hope having to choose from five gingers, and salon owner Kellie narrowly avoiding being duped by simpleton-cum-Machiavel Barry (who, unless I misheard, thought steak marinaded in soy sauce “smelled like a carp’s tit”) and gat-toothed Amy, who was visibly aroused by the power of choice she commanded – a Wife of Bath for our times.

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