The older I get, the more pressure I feel to be in a long-term relationship – and the harder it gets

I am a woman in my early 30s. I have a lot of anxiety about sex and relationships, which holds me back from forming the intimate connections I crave. I can appear confident in my day-to-day life but I’m very insecure and sensitive to rejection. I do have close friends but it can take years to build those relationships.

What I really miss at the moment is that long-term, intimate relationship that so many of my friends have. I’m even envious of my parents. I am online dating but take long breaks because of the emotional toll: I am distraught when it doesn’t work out, or if I think I have messed it up. The older I get, the more pressure I feel, and the harder it becomes.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.

If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to [email protected] (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.

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