As No 10 goes ‘bananas’ with announcements, the British public can only sit and wait until the banter king is finally deposed

How are you enjoying the Conservative party’s slow-motion regicide? Maybe call it a ledge-icide, as banter king Boris Johnson increasingly looks to be in a tonne of trouble. Or, as he prefers it, a ton of trouble, which is even heavier and can crush anyone without a ruthlessly consistent abs and core programme. He’ll be fine, mate!

Indeed, there remain plenty who think Big Dog should be allowed to keep peeing on the rug that some donor or other bought him. As one Downing Street source told LBC this morning, the Tory malcontents have “no alternative leader, plan or vision”. Exactly. Why not stick with what they have: a terrible leader, who has no plan or vision?

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist

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