Loyal Tory apologists told us Boris Johnson was ‘ambushed with cake’ and hadn’t robbed a bank

Fans of FC Magdeburg clearly have a sense of humour. Back in 2012 when their team was lying bottom of the fourth tier of German football and had gone five successive games without scoring, supporters gathered behind the goal with a banner saying “Don’t worry, we’ll show you where the goal is” and hundreds of large, luminous arrows all pointing to the back of the net.

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