The Met already seemed slow to investigate last year’s reported festivities – then the prime minister promised to help out
Great to hear that a 57-year-old Downing Street man is keen to help the police with their inquiries into a growing number of potential misdemeanours at his address. Boris Johnson says that “of course” he will tell the Met the truth, which pretty much guarantees they’ll never get to the bottom of it. When you want Sherlock Holmes but have to settle for Elizabeth Holmes.
Still, here he comes – Shagatha Christie, trying to deduce what the hell has happened this week. Happy to help: the sphincter of his prime ministership has failed. Tory MPs whose inboxes now resemble something designed by Lulu Lytle are reminded that character is fate. There was simply no other place a Johnson government would ever end up but mired in rampant lies, chaos, negligence, financial sponging and the live evisceration of public service. To the Conservatives and media outriders somehow only now discovering this about their guy, I think we have to say: you ordered this. Now eat it.
Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist
